And so was I. And fucking so was I.

A recipe for success on TV would be worth more than the hair implants that Nic Cage used on his most recent vomit-inducing work on National Treasure 2. Seriously, that movie was the worse than Alien vs Hunter - look forward to a full review of AvH soon! If I was going to be a chef in TV-land I would want to whip up some fanciful feasts of fictional frivolity of all kinds. All angles would be covered; you would have your reality shows (think Big Brother but with gas chambers), cop shows (think Assy McGee meets Vic Mackey) and of course a welcome serving of comedy (think the randomness of Family Guy). So here is my recipe for makin a nice big plate of comedy, in the style of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Enjoy, and prepare to get your hands dirty!

Ingredients:

1 pub

3 best friends

A sister of one of the friends

Controversial topcis

Alcohol-fuelled shenanigans

The sibling’s father

Some supporting cast

500CCs of awesome

Ok first up you need to introduce the main characters by showing us where they all work. Once you have done this, and carefully infused much observational humour so we can get the four distinct tastes of each person, you have to move onto creating a broader world for them. The pub that you have setup as the base of the meal, is where the characters all work, each chipping in in their own way to keep it up and going. Let the characters stew on their own insecurities for a while, as you need to bring out their traits. Dennis Reynolds, the self-obsessed and confessed ladie’s man, needs to be constantly proving his manliness in many different ways, be it sleeping with his mate’s crush, or something equally as evil. Dennis’ sister Diandra Reynolds, can be called ‘Sweet Dea’ as she is almost always the first one to shy away from some of the harsher, more controversial ideas or activities, so it will take some work to bring out her inner evil taste. To do this, just query her attractive-ness and then sit back in awe.

The two siblings are now fermenting in their own self-indulgence, so it is important to throw in the two other main ingredients. Mac, is the next one to throw in the pot. You have to be careful because he is very insecure, to the point of complaining that he wasn’t molested in high-school when the other ‘ugly’ kids were. It is critical that you now throw in Charlie, the insane, screaming, dyslexic and highly volatile ‘loser’ of the group. Charlie requires little work to understand his taste, you just have to throw him in there and let his insanity to the rest.

So now that the first season of taste is out of the way, all the flavours are infusing, and the show begins to take form, you can take a rest before the next seasoning. Now that you have setup the basis for the meal, its important to throw a few extra things in there to spice it up a bit. The best way to do this is to introduce a well known actor to the mix. Throw in a Danny Devito if you have one, and make him the father of Dennis and Sweet Dea. This should spice things up a bit. Make sure he is a complete asshole as well, just like his kids. A self-absorbed nutjob who constantly adds his own taste of insane into this already wild mix.

Its important to balance all of this insanity with a little of bit of neasuea. The best way to do this is to now introduce the McPoyle twins. These guys, with their implied incestuous lifestyle, make you uncomfortable, but are an important addition to completely shake up the balance of an episode. They don’t get along well with Charlie because he foiled their attempt at a false molestation lawsuit, so you may have to constantly have them trying to get revenge, and Charlie freaking out. The second season of this recipe is nearly complete. Throw in some controversy with a jihad tape against an Israeli property devloper, a spattering of Mac doing banging Dennis’ mum and Charlie dressing as a crippled ‘nam vet to win over some strippers. This should create what has now become an irresistable meal, that you cannot miss, and eagerly await the next course.

The third season is the freshest one yet, and requires a bit of improvisation as I will only explain the first few steps. This is where you see how clever the mixing of ingredients, and writing up new ideas, can actually get. Its not until the third seasoning that you truly get a glimpse into how clever and tasty its going to get. I have only so far made it a few steps into it, but I am eager to finish it and savour the moment. A highlight so far has been the amazingly well-crafted portion where the McPoyle twins kidnap the gang. It has to be tasted to be believed.

So now that the third season is in the pot, and stewing away, infusing its own new, deeper and more intricate plotlines, you can rest assured that if the writers keep the temperature at a constant level of increase, then the show will cook itself to perfection. I am confident it will, and am over the moon that this is a recipe that hasn’t been cancelled before the fourth season.

The show is best enjoyed with company, as laughing at the hilarity of tastes and the sheer shock of some of the subtle spices is something to be shared.